The Special Needs Parent To-Do List



√ Get parents/siblings/relatives/neighbors/mailman etc. to pitch in with caregiving.

√ Figure out way to get my child twenty zillion trillion more sessions of therapy. Preferably for free.

√ Spend more time just kissing, cuddling and playing with child—equally important as therapy. Maybe more so.

√ Get child onto cover of Toys 'R Us Toy Guide For Differently-Abled Kids and/or People magazine.

√ Teach child to quit whining. Or teach child to only whine to spouse.

√ Invent flying wheelchair/blast-off foot braces/drool-proof shirts/magic wand you can wave over people that'll make them quit staring and/or turn them into toads.

√ Stop comparing child to other children.

√ Stop comparing myself to other moms. They may have "typical" kids, but I have a smaller [FILL IN THE BLANK] and a bigger [FILL IN THE BLANK].

√ Suggest BYO IEPs. Teachers and therapists bring the progress reports, I'll bring the mojitos! So much more fun!

√ Organize boycott of overpriced toy and equipment catalogs that rip off parents of kids with special needs. Also, tell their mothers.

√ Come up with cooler term than "special needs."

√ Take time for myself that doesn't involve a supermarket, a doctor's office, Home Depot or The Motor Vehicles Department.

√ Quit wondering what child will "be like" when he's older and focus on awesome stuff he's doing now, including the excellent cuddling skills.

√ Invite Michelle Obama to guest post—way to raise awareness! Maybe President, too! Or Justin Bieber? The Pope???

√ Check to see that my sanity is still intact. It was the last time I looked, but you never know.

√ Breathe.


istock/mark wragg

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