A mom's accused of murdering her son with cerebral palsy. Why blame his special needs?


It's a particularly gruesome murder: A man with cerebral palsy was found dead in Westerlo, New York on Monday; he'd been beaten in the head with a hammer and stabbed in the heart with a knife. Gabriel Philby Zetsche, 22, lived with his mother, Tracey Zetsche, who has been charged with second-degree murder. Police say she lived with her son's dead body for days.

The motive isn't yet known. But what's clear is the question on people's minds: "Actually, we were told that him and his mother were very close. I've been asked a lot about cerebral palsy and everything else," said Sheriff Craig Apple.

People are wondering whether the stress of caring for an adult child with cerebral palsy got to be too much for this mother.

To me, this is something you'd likely wonder if you're not the parent of a child with special needs.

Because as parents of kids with special needs, we know.

We know that parenting a child with special needs has stress: Big stress, small stress. Caregiving stress. Money stress. Juggle-it-all stress. Stress about today. Stress about what tomorrow might bring. Ongoing stress. An undercurrent of stress. Stress that I can't even imagine, for parents in dire circumstances.

But we also know that parenting a child with special needs brings much joy, too. And pride. And laughter. And satisfaction. And other typical job benefits of parenting.

We know how full of life our kids can make us feel. Lucky, even.

Yes, this we know—though others don't. Some think parenting a child with disabilities is so consumingly stressful it could lead a mother to murder her own child.

Details of the case are still unfolding. It's been said that Gabriel Philby had mild CP and lived a "normal" life. A reporter unearthed that Zetsche was having money issues. It's yet to be seen what kind of mental issues she had.

This woman bludgeoned her own son. She stabbed him in the heart. She lived with his lifeless body for days. Cerebral palsy stress or no stress, she had other mental problems for which she obviously needed help. It wasn't just the special needs that might have made her do it. Maybe it wasn't the special needs at all.

Gabriel Philby Zetsche died a terrible death. May he RIP. But please, world: Quit assuming that parenting a child with special needs is always that bad.


Image: Screen grab, abc local video

Related Posts

Subscribe Our Newsletter