I walked in the door last night feeling like my head was about to fall off. I'd worked all day, hadn't spoken to the kids, had a pileup of emails, had a headache, had to get going on these new oral-motor exercises a therapist recommended for Max to help control the drooling that I've put off for weeks, had a phone call from Sabrina on the ride home in which she sobbed "I NEED YOU TO BE HERE NOW TO DO MY HOMEWORK WITH ME!" and then the train went into a tunnel and she got cut off and I thought, man, she is going to someday require therapy for that.
Deep breathing never helps when I feel like this at the end of a day. Pinot Grigio, somewhat. Going to sleep early is usually the best remedy. But I couldn't, I had work to do and laundry, too (in case you missed the video, I am the only person in my marriage on intimate terms with our washer and dryer).
The kids were upstairs with the babysitter, and I had a few minutes to regroup. A Post-it note I'd stuck up on a kitchen cabinet the other week caught my eye.
Sabrina had written it, I didn't even remember why. It said:
"Today was a good day for me."
And I thought, well, today was actually kind of crappy for me BUT if I could just think like a kid, maybe it wouldn't seem so bad. Kids don't think about the not-so-good stuff that happens during their day and recount it for you when you come home. No, they are psyched to share the awesome—the thermometer or purple painting they made in class, playing with their best friend at recess, the birthday kid who brought in ice-cream for everyone, a cool new website.
So I made myself think about the good parts of the day: cuddling with Max in bed this morning as he kept saying "NO OOOOL! NO OOOOL!" ["NO SCHOOL!"], Sabrina letting me choose her top to wear to school (seriously, she considers it an honor), doing a crossword puzzle on my commute, catching up with a friend from my last job, sushi for lunch (you may not know this about me but I am part woman, part tuna), a green light for a blog project I'd been hoping would happen.
The headache was still there, but as I stood in the kitchen zoning out in front of Sabrina's Post-it, I felt better. I saw the glass as half full—half full of Pinot Grigio, because you can bet I had some after the kids were asleep. I may have the occasional flash of self-help awareness but Tony Robbins, I'm not.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking today will be a good day for me.
What helps you on those crappy days?
