Why dads of kids with special needs rock


In honor of Father's Day and fairness—because it's obviously not just we moms who rock—I asked guys around the blogosphere (and my blog-less husband) to explain their awesome-ness, in their own words. This is what they had to say.


"I am not only Max's father, I am his buddy. Nobody plays with him like I do or tosses him around like I do or makes him laugh like I do."—Dave

"I do what I can to try and get by. I do the best I can under the circumstances and HOPE that I 'rock.' Although most of the time I feel I’m still a very long way from being able to claim any kind of trophy, I’ll never stop trying to be a better father, that much I’m certain of."—Ken Lilly, Blogzilly

"The thing people don't think about in regards to special needs dads is that we do what we do for our kids, and we really would and will do anything for them, but we do so in the face of a societal narrative about fathers that largely ranges from dismissive to hostile. We see Homer Simpson on TV and we know that we don't have the option of being that kind of fatherly buffoon. We go online and see literally thousands of sites and blogs geared toward special needs mothers, and we read about their "unique" struggles, struggles that we work through as well. We're called silent partners, even when we have something to say. And we do it all happily, because the rewards of parenting a child unlike any other are ours as well. We don't require a parade or a sit-down with Oprah. We have our child's love, and that's all we need."—Robert Rummel-Hudson, Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords, author of Schuyler's Monster: A Father's Journey with His Wordless Daughter.


"I rock as a blogger because, being anonymous, I can say things that those with severely disabled kids feel, but can't say. As a father, I rock because I never had a 'normal' kid. I don't have the expectations and comparisons, first hand, that others do. When I am a voracious advocate for either of my children, I am doing no more than others would do for their normal kid. I advocate, I speak out, I demand simple competence and respect towards my children. And I rock as a single father, because I am a rock, I am an island."—Single Dad, Single Dad/Disabled Daughter


"Dads of kids with special needs rock because we accept our kids for who they are, not what we once wished they would be. We also rock because we all look exactly like George Clooney."—T. Lewis Stark, Big Daddy Autism, author of Big Daddy's Tales From the Lighter Side of Raising a Kid with Autism

"Mothers are nurturing, healing, comforting and when needed, can be a ferocious mother bear. Fathers are the rock. The source for strength and leadership. The father's role is to lead by example. To instill values, morals, determination and will without having to speak a word about them. When our children are diagnosed with a special need, that strength is greatly challenged. It's in these times that the father either falters or shows his greatest strength stands up to the challenge. When that happens, you know, without a doubt, that his child will turn out just fine. That father has taken the hardest, biggest and most important step to being the rock, source of strength and leader that the child will grow up to learn from. That's a comforting thought."—Stuart Duncan, Autism From A Father's Point of View

"Reasons why I rock as a dad:
1. I sacrifice my time by playing video games with Jackson.
2. I eagerly watch Star Wars and cartoons with my sons.
3. I don't change poopy diapers, I do the harder task: I take them to the trash can!
4. I am a sucker for the "PLEEEAAAAASSSSE Dad" expression.
5. Light saber fights and nerf gun wars are my favorite activities
6. I don't open doors of opportunity for my boys, I kick them open.
7. I will always try my hardest to provide my boys with the best quality life they can have.
8. Most importantly: I accept and LOVE my boys for who they are, not for what they can or can't do. They are my greatest accomplishments!"—Josh Bauman, Our Family of Four (in case you're wondering: he got 11 officemates shaved their heads, along with him, and his company donated $400 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation).

Related Posts

There is no other posts in this category.
Subscribe Our Newsletter