Blogging about your kids is one thing. Blogging about a child who is not aware that you have a blog because he has special needs is a whole other thing. Biggest question of all: Are you endangering your child?
On Friday's post about smartphones and online predators, Ken from Blogzilly mentioned that someone reamed him out for blogging about his kids. Called him a "bad parent." Made him feel, he said in his own Ken way, "like a turd."
Ken's opened that can of blog worms, and I'm diving in.
First off: Would it be safest of all for our kids if we never blogged about them?
Yes.
And if we did blog about them, would it be safer to not show their pictures? Or use their names?
Yes.
And if we put our kids in a car and drive around with them on a highway or we cross a busy street with them or we let them ride bikes or play outside with other kids or go swimming, is that safe?
Not completely. Nothing in life is guaranteed "safe" except for maybe sitting on your living room couch and staring at the wall.
Sometimes, doing things for the greater good outweighs the negatives. That's what I believe.
Like many bloggers, I do it because it helps. I know from comments and emails I get that Max's accomplishments inspire parents and give them hope for their own children (his purple obsession, perhaps not so much). I know my words—and ones from commenters—encourage parents. I know sharing information here helps other parents help their kids. I know that through this blog, moms have connected in real life and found friends they needed.
I also blog to raise awareness about our kids. I want parents of so-called typical children to know that in many ways, kids with special needs are just like any other kids—not kids to be pitied, feared or shunned. I want them to understand that our kids are not their disabilities.
It's a two-way thing: Through this blog, I'm inspired and I learn in return. It's because of a reader here, Kate, that I learned Duke University was doing stem cell infusions—and Max had it done. I've gotten therapy ideas, I've gotten ideas that improve Max's quality of life, I've gotten reassurance and reality checks and comfort that have vastly improved my quality of life.
As for Max, who didn't have a say in my blogging about him and who doesn't yet understand what a blog is, I hope that when he does get it, he agrees that this has been A Good Thing. Along with his victories, I have laid out his history and his challenges for all the world to see, and I pray he does not condemn me for doing that. If he does get ticked off, I'll live with the consequences (and be grateful that he reached that level of awareness).
There are no easy answers here. But I have a blog. I think it makes a difference. And I stand by it. You should too, Ken.
OK, let the "yays" and "nays" begin.
