A scene from our flight to Florida (picture a completely filled plane):
Max is in the window seat, Dave is next to him, then Sabrina; I am in the row across from them. Suddenly, I notice that Max is repeatedly and rhythmically kicking the seat in front of him. Hard. Kick, kick, kick, kick. Kick, kick, kick, kick.
Max likes to do this sort of thing when given the right kicking opportunity. He has this little table in his room and one of his favorite activities is to sit there, lift his knees and bang it up and down. I think he just likes the the feel of it. "It's totally normal," said our über-sane pediatric neurologist, when I asked. "Haven't you ever seen a boy sitting on a bench and jiggling his foot?" I suspect that Max also gets a kick out of being naughty; as I've noted, he is no angel, like any other kid his age.
Only now we're on a plane. The three people in the row in front have all turned around to see what is going on; they don't notice me observing them. The elderly guy in the end seat is glaring at him.
Dave is sitting there, earplugs in, staring at the TV screen. Oblivious.
Kick, kick, kick, kick.
"Dave," I say.
No response.
"Sabrina, can you poke Daddy for me?" I ask.
She does and when Dave looks up from his TV coma I whisper, "Dave, Max is kicking the seat and it's annoying the people in front of him. Can you get him to stop?!"
Dave shrugs his shoulders. Meaning, what's so wrong (see: Mushball Dave), I'm not sure how to help, and I don't particularly care if it's bugging them.
But I care. Because I'm one of those people who minds having her seat kicked—on planes, in movie theaters, when I'm attending the Academy Awards (OK, not that)—and I know how irksome it feels. I also don't think Max should get away with it. I wouldn't let Sabrina disturb people like that; why should I let Max? I want him to understand what it means to behave yourself in public.
"Talk with him," I tell Dave.
Kick, kick, kick, kick.
"Try holding his legs down," I say.
Max wails.
The elderly guy summons the flight attendant. He gestures at Max and says something to her; she nods and walks way. I'm not sure what her plan is; maybe she falls into the "What's the big deal?" camp.
Kick, kick, kick, kick.
"DAVE!" I hiss-whisper. "Do something! Distract him!"
Dave gives Max his iPhone.
Nope.
Kick, kick, kick, kick.
I am tempted to take Max for a walk only I've learned that can be a dangerous thing, as Max then refuses to sit down again and also has a tendency of barreling into first class where, alas, they do not treat me to a glass to champagne as I scurry after him.
The woman in front of Max turns around. "Here," she says, kindly, and hands back a pad of paper and a pencil.
That helps.
[Repeat scene during return flight home, except nobody reports him and he finally falls asleep.]
Obviously, Dave and I need to do a better job of packing stuff that will better occupy Max (and making sure the iPad is charged, as it ran out of juice). We also need to do a better job of agreeing about Max's public behavior.
Have you been in recent situations in which your child has annoyed others? How have you dealt with it? How has your significant other dealt with it?!
Photo/istock
