Why I'll never be one of "those" moms

There's a comment that's been haunting me. It's from the post I did about making Max a so-called costume from a purple Bed, Bath & Beyond bag. Kara called me "crafty" and said, "It seems that you have joined the ranks of Those Mommys!!"

Kara, I fear that I have misrepresented myself. Because I am actually not one of "those" crafty moms. I am also not one of those dress-the-kids-to-perfection moms. Or one of those must-make-kids'-meals-from-scratch moms. Or one of those so-on-top-of-everything moms. And because I'd never want to get sued by one of "those" moms for making false claims, I am hereby providing irrefutable proof that I am not one of "those" moms:

• When the kids aren't in the moods for baths, or when I am not in the mood for giving them a bath, I have resorted to a diaper-wipe shower—you grab some wipes, you wipe them down.
• I have let Max have a dish of ice-cream for dinner...and an ice-cream sandwich for dessert.
• Their baby scrapbooks? I never made it past "Mother's name, father's name, baby's height, baby's weight."
• Come to think of it, I am not even sure where their baby scrapbooks are.
• I have put Max's shoes on the wrong feet while he was wearing his braces (which are supposed to help you walk better, which is kinda hard to do when your mother has put your shoes on the wrong feet).
• I have let Sabrina pluck a shirt/pants/dress from the laundry and wear it again. Thankfully, she has not yet begged to re-wear underwear.
• When the kids' pants are too long, I just roll them up. Presto! Hemmed.
• I have refused to read certain books to the kids because I am bored by them. The books, not the kids.
• As a serial evening snacker, I have eaten the last of the kids' cheese crackers. I have also polished off their Cheerios, their cookies, their chocolate pudding and once, in a tragic turn of events, the macaroni and cheese we brought home from the diner that Sabrina was going to finish up the next day.
• I never, ever have tissues in my purse, Band-Aids, cough drops or anything remotely useful.
• When Sabrina has gotten a knot in her hair, I've been known to cut it out rather than try to patiently comb through it.
• I have thrown out pictures the kids have made.
• The last time I organized the kids' playroom was in June. Or was it January? I can't be sure.
• I murdered the kids' goldfish. I know, I have spoken about this before, but I am clearly trying to work through the grief. Bear with me.
• I once accidentally sent Max to school on class picture day in ratty sweatpants and a stained shirt.
• I have let Sabrina watch three Hanna Montana shows in a row. I hope she does not someday require therapy for that.
• When the kids have celebrated their birthdays at school, I've bought cupcakes from the store and put them in my own box.

Sooooo, are you one of "those" moms? Or do you fall into my camp? Share!


Photo by bankgrrl